會加入偷情網的男人

　　加拿大公司Ashley Madison成立於2001年，靠鼓勵已婚人士出軌，在網上售賣偷情的機會來年賺十億。當他們的客人哭喊自己的婚姻失敗、孩子因家庭破碎心靈受挫，此時，創立人暨行政總裁Noel Biderman卻賺到笑。

 

　　今年7月，網站突然成為城中焦點，公司的資料庫被黑客入侵，所有客人的資料，包括姓名、電郵及家中地址、性愛喜好，以及信用卡資料被盜取，黑客威脅Ashley Madison如不永久關閉網站，將會在網上公開所有資料。Noel Biderman拒絕黑客的要求，於是部分顧客的資料於今年8月18日曝光，當中涉及無綫電視新聞部總監袁志偉，但他已否認自己是會員。據洩漏的資料，在香港，約2,600名男性曾幫襯Ashley Madison，他們的消費總額達三百萬元。黑客的報告反映灣仔、荃灣、沙田、屯門及將軍澳是最多人加入偷情網的地區，而油麻地、跑馬地、鑽石山、赤柱及太古則是愛情忠貞之地。

 

　　Ashley Madison堅決拒絕黑客的要求，更多會員的資料隨之曝光。今次的資料外洩事件在各地引致很多直接、戲劇性的後果，無數在警署或醫院收場的家庭糾紛、一系列的離婚及子女撫養權案件，還有兩宗自殺事件。8月28日，Noel Biderman宣布離任行政總裁的崗位，不過，網站仍在營運。

 

　　擁有來自53個國家的三千七百萬位會員，新網站每6.5秒就有一個新會員登記，在商言商，Ashley Madison無疑是極為成功的。不過，公司提出贊助意大利羅馬維爾圖斯籃球俱樂部一百五十萬元的好意卻不被領情，對於百萬元廣告費不為所動的機構還真不少－鳳凰城天港國際機場、新梅多蘭茲體育場、多倫多公車局的電車、NBC的超級碗等等，原因？或者錢不是萬能的，沒有金錢買到的尊重，只有贏回來的尊重。

 

　　是非顛倒來自道德的敗壞，仁義禮智的觀念薄弱。強大的羅馬帝國之所以會倒下，不是因為其軍事實力不足，打倒它的是妓院、鴉片店，以及它的自甘墮落，令羅馬變成道德敗壞之地。人禽之別在於道德觀念。當一個人對自己的同胞或社會做出敗壞風氣之事，卑劣如Biderman，他的所為有違普世所接受的的權利與義務的定義。無論如何，他完全是一個該被鄙視的無賴。

 

　　記起一句出自佛洛伊德的至理名言「男人的品行較自己所想的更為端正，並可做出遠超自己想像的腐敗之事」，站在自己的道德高地上譴責Biderman是令人多麼振奮的，讓我們試試理解一下眼前的事實與資料。報告顯示Madison的客人中，男性佔68%，他們平均年齡是44歲，不過，平均而言，只有一半男人是為滿足性慾及單純只為性愛以來，不少男性顧客更聲稱擁有幸福的婚姻關係！

 

　　一個男人自問擁有一段美好的婚姻仍加入偷情網站，這代表他是純粹感到得意洋洋地無聊。換句話說，這班已為人夫的男人追求的並非必然是性愛，即使它被偽裝為性慾的追求。在這個邪惡的網站，表面上，是沒有牽絆的婚外情，然而很多男人明顯是在追求其他精神上的滿足，深層的溝通？精神上的聯繫？虛擬的關係？又或者是想找回熱戀的感覺？

 

　　假如我們的男人正追求這些，女士們，作為女人及妻子，恐怕我們是不夠稱職的。我們要懂事把丈夫放到最優先的位置，而非你的工作及子女。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Ashley Madison

 

　　Ashley Madison is a Canadian company established in 2001. They make their billions by creating, marketing and selling online opportunities to married couples, and encourage them to commit adultery. While their clients cry, marriages disintegrate, traumatized children become psychologically damaged by the effects of broken homes… Noel Biderman, the owner and CEO, is laughing all the way to the bank.

 

　　In July 2015 the company received a lot of unwanted attention after hackers stole all of its customer data – including names, emails, home addresses, sexual fantasies and credit card information – and blackmailed Ashley Madison to shut down the site permanently or else they would post all the data online. Noel Biderman refused and the first batch of customer names  were released by hackers on 18/8/2015, including the name of TVB News Director Keith Yuen Chi Wai, who denied having been a member. The leaked information revealed that in Hong Kong, about 2600 men have paid to join Ashley Madison spending more than HK$3 million in total. The hackers’  report shows that Wanchai, Tsuen Wan, Sha Tin, Tuen Mun and Tseung Kwan O are the most adulterous areas, while Yau Ma Tei, Happy Valley, Diamond Hill, Stanley and Tai Koo are our most monogamous suburbs. 

 

　　As the company adamantly refuses the hackers’ demands, more information are being released. The data leak has led to many direct, dramatic consequences worldwide,  including numerous family fights ending up with police arrests, hospitalization, or both; a rush of divorce and child custody suits being filed... and two suicides to date. On 28/Aug/2015, Noel Biderman stepped down as CEO of the company, but the site continues.

 

　　With 37 million users across 53 countries and a new one signing up every 6.5 seconds, there is no denying that Ashley Madison is businesswise, immensely successful. However, his offer of 1.5 million Euros jersey sponsorship with Italian basketball club Virtus Roma was turned down, as were many of his other multimillion dollar advertising campaign offers, including the Sky Harbor Airport, New Meadowlands Stadium, Toronto Transit’s streetcars, NBC’s Super Bowl…etc.etc. Why? Perhaps money isn’t omnipotent after all -  respect cannot be bought, it has to be earned. 

 

　　Depravity is moral perversion. It is the impairment of virtue and moral principles. The powerful Roman Empire did not fall due to military weaknesses, it was the brothels, the opium parlors and its depravity, that Rome had finally fallen into moral putrefaction. The concept of “moral turpitude” is what differentiates humans from animals. When one commits an act of baseness or depravity  to his fellowmen or to society, so vile as is in the case of Biderman, it is contrary to the accepted and customary rule of right and duty between man and man. He is therefore by all definition, an utterly contemptible scoundrel  worthy of being despised.

 

　　Sigmund Freud’s wisdom comes to mind: “Men are more moral than they think and far more immoral than they can imagine”. As tempting as it is to condemn Biderman from our moral high ground, let’s try to understand some facts and figures. Report shows that 68% of Madison’s members are men, their average age is 44,  but on an average, only HALF go into the site for sex and sex alone !! Plenty of male members actually claim to be happily married  !!

 

　　A man who considers himself happily married and strays  only means he is complacently bored. In other words, we have a population of husbands out there seeking something which is not sex even if it is disguised as sex. In this evil site which ostensibly facilitates no strings attached affairs,  a lot of men are obviously seeking something deeper – Someone to talk to perhaps? connections ? forging bonds ?… or might even be looking to fall in love…?!

 

　　If our men are seeking that, then ladies, I am afraid we have failed miserably, both as a woman and as a wife.  Instead of career and children, please let’s learn to make our husband our top priority henceforth.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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