19/01/2016
錯摸愛情的四角關係
Mei Ling
Mei Ling
廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。
Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。
Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。
著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships鑽石媒人Mei Ling
由三藩市飛往香港的機程上,我看了改編自湯瑪斯.哈迪著作的電影《遠離塵囂:珍愛相隨》。還記得我第一次讀小說時是個高中生,當時被Bathsheba的故事深深吸引。時至今日,儘管想法已不同了,故事依舊令我著迷。
哈迪在1874年寫下小說。在過去的142年,人類經歷了兩次世界大戰,見證氣候變化──由19世紀早期的小冰期演變成全球暖化;我們研發出卓越的產品,由拉鍊、風筒、原子筆,以至噴射引擎……由動力轉向系統、等離子電視,以至互聯網及智能手機……這些日子,走過文明的高山低谷,探索人性的光明陰暗,女人在愛情路上進退兩難的處境卻依舊絲毫不變。今天,我們仍會對書中貝莎芭所面對的愛情困惑有所共鳴,這件事實在神奇。
故事大概如下:
貝莎芭艾佛丁-年輕貌美的女子,出生貧窮,但繼承農場後,就以短時間把農場搞得有聲有色。無論在精神或財政上,她既自負又獨立。哈迪以此角色來揭示,這樣的一個女子,因為婚姻陷入失去原有地位及生活方式的危機。
蓋伯爾──第一位追求者,是農夫、牧羊人及農場管家,他為人謙厚,有超卓的農耕技巧,以及無可比擬的忠誠。最初,他較貝莎芭富有,後來命運逆轉,令他變成一名窮員工。財富的差距成為兩人關係發展的絆腳石。
鮑伍德先生──第二位追求者,富有、有紳士風度的地主,但對貝莎芭來說,年紀較大。貝莎芭愛鮑伍德的地位、生活圈子及權力多於愛他的本身。她跟他瞹眛調情,引君入甕;鮑伍德瘋狂迷戀她,更為她殺死了崔伊,以致終身受牢獄之苦。
崔伊──第三位追求者。外貌不凡的年輕男子,為人自負、無能兼完全不負責任。正宗女人湯圓,他非常善於捉摸女人心理,勾引她們的靈魂。貝莎芭在情迷意亂下嫁給她,當問題一一浮現,令她陷入深深的後悔之中。
哈迪小說中的三條主線勾勒出單戀、悲劇與社會階級。主線開出來的支線亦寫出社會、宗教及道德的問題,並展現出浪漫愛情及婚姻潛藏的危機及破壞性。透過貝莎芭戀上崔伊、幾乎斷送一生的故事,哈迪反映一段孽緣中的背叛、矛盾及不智。同樣地,當一方如鮑伍德般付出的愛遠超對方,這樣不對等的關係將引致災難性的後果。
回到現實,你會揀一個不太富有的好男人,還是一個富有但較年長的男人?還是,一個教你神魂癲倒、歡若狂喜,但除此之外不能付出更多的男人?值得注意的是,時至今日,貝莎芭所面對的困境在這142年來尚未改變。我們或會為自己的高學歷、周遊列國的閱歷、擁有的世界觀而自豪,可是在財富及年齡差距的看法上不見得更開明,世上依舊有很多人栽在外表懾人的壞男人手上。
總括而言,這個故事提醒我們,一個合適的對象會如何豐盛我們的生活,揀錯人則摧毀人生。尋找伴侶是一項重要的任務,我們是否已裝備好自己去迎接這項挑戰?我們有否付出足夠的時間並投入地去完成?還是年復年守株待兔?
值得深思。
(按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)
Far From The Madding Crowd
On the way back from San Francisco to Hong Kong, I watched Far From The Madding Crowd, a movie based on the novel by Thomas Hardy. I remember the first time I read this book as a high school student, I was fascinated by the love stories of Bathsheba. Today, I continue to be amazed, albeit for different reasons.
Hardy wrote this book in 1874. In the past 142 years, mankind has braved through two World Wars , witnessed climatic changes from ice ages in the early 19th century to global warming…We have made remarkable scientific inventions: from the zipper, hairdryer, ball-point pen to the jet engine … From power steering, plasma TV , to the internet and digital mobile phones… Yet throughout all the peaks and valleys of civilization, all the ridges and troughs of humanity, the dilemma of a woman’s love has neither changed nor faltered one iota. Our love quandary today continues to echo that of Bathsheba’s in identical ways and measures … That, is amazing.
The story in synopsis:
Bathsheba - a beautiful young lady who starts out poor, but quickly inherits and learns to run a farm successfully. She is vain, independent both in spirit as well as financially. This allows Hardy to use her character to explore the danger that such a woman faces of losing her identity and lifestyle through marriage.
Gabriel - the first suitor. A farmer, shepherd, & bailiff, marked by his humble & honest ways, his exceptional farming skills, and his unparalleled loyalty. Originally wealthier than Bathsheba, a reverse of fortune makes him instead, her poor employee. Their financial differences stunt the growth of their relationship.
Mr. Boldwood - the second suitor. A wealthy gentleman land owner, but probably a tad old for her. Bathsheba loves the attention, the lifestyle and the power attached to this man more than the man himself. She leads him on flirtingly, he becomes crazy with obsession, shoots Troy and is sentenced to life imprisonment.
Troy - the third suitor. A handsome young man, vain, incompetent and completely irresponsible. A lady’s man, he is perfectly capable of capturing a woman’s heart and soul. Bathsheba marries him in a flurry of passion and deeply regrets it as multiple problems surface.
The three major themes of Hardy’s novel are probably unrequited love, catastrophe, and social hierarchy. There are a few sub-plots to the main story through which the author raises questions about society, religion and morals, and illustrates the danger and destruction inherent in romantic love and marriage. Hardy exposes the betrayals, inconsistencies and irrationalities that so often plague romantic relationships – as Bathsheba nearly destroys her life by falling in love with Troy. Similarly, when one partner is more in love than the other as is in the case of Mr. Boldwood, what disastrous consequences result from such inequality.
Would you today, choose a good man who is relatively poorer ? A wealthy man who is comparatively older ? or he who sweeps you off your feet, makes you deliriously happy with passion and not much else ? Remarkable is that Bathsheba’s dilemma has not gone out of fashion in 142 years. We may pride ourselves today for being better educated, well travelled and worldly wise, but we have NOT become less narrow minded in terms of wealth and age disparity…and many continue to fall for handsome rogues.
In summation, the story reminds us how the right partner embellishes one’s life, and the wrong one, ruins it. Given that partner search must be the most important task we would ever do, are we working to equip ourselves with the skill this job requires? Are we even giving this task the time and attention it deserves? Or do we just drag it out for yet another year?
Food for thought.
【與拍賣官看藝術】畢加索的市場潛能有多強?亞洲收藏家如何從新角度鑑賞?► 即睇